(From the FW)
A student told me last week that her first feminist experience occurred when addressing her graduation invitations. She questioned her mom why the names were formatted "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith", not putting the woman's name anywhere.
I'm feeling the same way about our mailings. Address lists we've received from relatives are formatted the same way (kudos to my FMIL, though, who asked what we would prefer and changed the format for several of them). Even all the info I could find online leaves out the woman's name, unless her last name is different than his. To many people, it's just not an issue. It's formal, it's the way it's "always" been done. But it's an issue for us.
What to do? I asked two of my married colleagues, who had similar experiences with their wedding announcements. One of them went to the trouble of finding out every single woman's name in her groom's family, which is cool in and of itself, and adding those names to the list. Both encountered resistance from parents on cultural grounds, as well. And both chose to put the woman's name on the envelope.
I have this really intense desire not to offend the older generation. Most of my family is Southern, and take pride in all those etiquette-laden traditions. I don't begrudge them that, but I feel it wouldn't be true to who we are to leave out the woman's name. The process of becoming one does not mean I am losing myself, and that is for us reflected in the intentional choice of our name change. So I just can't bring myself to go the traditional route on this one.
And to be honest I have this hope that at least one of my older female relatives will be thankful and feel recognized. I think it's possible.
Here's how they will probably look:
Mr. John and Mrs. Jane Smith
(That actually sounds pretty snazzy, doesn't it?)
Friday, November 30, 2007
Monday, November 26, 2007
How to Choose Floral Arrangements
So last weekend, I was at my FW's parents' house when I was asked if I wanted to help with floral arrangements. Before you start to question my masculinity, keep in mind that I believe gender stereotypes are both stupid and harmful. Besides, since I am marrying a woman who likes getting flowers, it is in my best interest to know what kind of flowers she likes. Over the last year or so, I have learned more about flowers than I ever cared to know. It doesn't do much for my ability in choosing the best looking floral arrangements, but at least now I know what the flowers in them are called.
As I have probably mentioned before, my FW's mom is a wedding planner, and she has a variety of flower choices already purchased and ready to arrange. In fact, she has boxes full of fake flowers of almost every imaginable variety and color. My FSIL (future sister-in-law) just got married in March and used purple arrangements, so our first task was to sort those flowers back into their respective crates to make room for the new ones that we would be considering. I assumed that this task would be fairly simple, but we ended up with over twenty piles of different white and purple flowers that we then methodically placed into boxes. I was actually pretty efficient with this task. I told my FW that it was because of my biochemistry background-- it makes me good at classifying things. It reminded me of my high school biology leaf project.
Now, I am much better at multiple choice options than at infinite choice options, and as I have already established, I have little to no taste when it comes to clothing or fashion or decorating. Since my FW knows me so well, she mentioned that if I would rather watch TV than try to help picking out and placing each flower, that I could help once they had something more definite. This sounded like a wonderful idea to me, so I went downstairs and watched football (maybe not football-- I can't really remember what I watched-- but football helps balance out all this flower business). Meanwhile, my FW and FMIL (future mother-in-law) worked on a possible arrangement. When they were done, they asked me what I thought. I really liked it, and then I helped them pick out what greenery should go with it. Since there were only about three or four choices, this part was pretty easy.
So there you have it. I actually helped pick out floral arrangements. Is that progressive or what?
As I have probably mentioned before, my FW's mom is a wedding planner, and she has a variety of flower choices already purchased and ready to arrange. In fact, she has boxes full of fake flowers of almost every imaginable variety and color. My FSIL (future sister-in-law) just got married in March and used purple arrangements, so our first task was to sort those flowers back into their respective crates to make room for the new ones that we would be considering. I assumed that this task would be fairly simple, but we ended up with over twenty piles of different white and purple flowers that we then methodically placed into boxes. I was actually pretty efficient with this task. I told my FW that it was because of my biochemistry background-- it makes me good at classifying things. It reminded me of my high school biology leaf project.
Now, I am much better at multiple choice options than at infinite choice options, and as I have already established, I have little to no taste when it comes to clothing or fashion or decorating. Since my FW knows me so well, she mentioned that if I would rather watch TV than try to help picking out and placing each flower, that I could help once they had something more definite. This sounded like a wonderful idea to me, so I went downstairs and watched football (maybe not football-- I can't really remember what I watched-- but football helps balance out all this flower business). Meanwhile, my FW and FMIL (future mother-in-law) worked on a possible arrangement. When they were done, they asked me what I thought. I really liked it, and then I helped them pick out what greenery should go with it. Since there were only about three or four choices, this part was pretty easy.
So there you have it. I actually helped pick out floral arrangements. Is that progressive or what?
Friday, November 23, 2007
How to Ask Kids to Be in Your Wedding
(From the FW)
When I was little, there was always someone younger and cuter than me running around, so I never got picked to be a flower girl. It's a little like how I imagine it would feel to be picked last for a playground team... although I never actually experienced that because I was homeschooled. Anyway, I digress. In college, I was a bridesmaid in a friend's wedding who made me an honorary flower girl in her wedding. It was all I ever hoped it would be.
When my sister got married in March, our 20 year old cousin was feeling left out because her brother was an usher and the other cousins were little and in the wedding. The ring bearer got sick a few days before the wedding so my sister decided to make her the ring bearer, and the three of us had a definite girl power geek-out moment about it. Unfortunately, the ring bearer made a miraculous recovery and she was demoted. We've got two little boys in our wedding so my grown-up cousin can't be our ring-bearer, but we're thinking maybe usher or candle-lighter or something.
My two little cousins were excited to be asked (especially since I buttered them up with a gift just before). The ring-bearer, however, explained that he would not be getting his tux from the same place, as it was too short in my sister's wedding and everyone could see his socks.
My FH's two little "cousins" were also excited. They adore him. And really want to be in a wedding. A few months after my fiance and I started dating, I met these kids and one of them asked if we were going to get married. As I had placed a six month ban on any sort of marriage talk, I made the situation pretty awkward by wiggling in my seat and looking away. It turns out she just wanted to be in a wedding, and that's all she cared about.
And by the way, my FH's dog will not be walking down the aisle, so no snarky comments about including her in the ceremony...
So if you've got ideas for the following, let me know:
1) Job for my 22 year old girl cousin
2) Something besides a pillow for the ring-bearer to carry
3) Something for the second boy to carry
When I was little, there was always someone younger and cuter than me running around, so I never got picked to be a flower girl. It's a little like how I imagine it would feel to be picked last for a playground team... although I never actually experienced that because I was homeschooled. Anyway, I digress. In college, I was a bridesmaid in a friend's wedding who made me an honorary flower girl in her wedding. It was all I ever hoped it would be.
When my sister got married in March, our 20 year old cousin was feeling left out because her brother was an usher and the other cousins were little and in the wedding. The ring bearer got sick a few days before the wedding so my sister decided to make her the ring bearer, and the three of us had a definite girl power geek-out moment about it. Unfortunately, the ring bearer made a miraculous recovery and she was demoted. We've got two little boys in our wedding so my grown-up cousin can't be our ring-bearer, but we're thinking maybe usher or candle-lighter or something.
My two little cousins were excited to be asked (especially since I buttered them up with a gift just before). The ring-bearer, however, explained that he would not be getting his tux from the same place, as it was too short in my sister's wedding and everyone could see his socks.
My FH's two little "cousins" were also excited. They adore him. And really want to be in a wedding. A few months after my fiance and I started dating, I met these kids and one of them asked if we were going to get married. As I had placed a six month ban on any sort of marriage talk, I made the situation pretty awkward by wiggling in my seat and looking away. It turns out she just wanted to be in a wedding, and that's all she cared about.
And by the way, my FH's dog will not be walking down the aisle, so no snarky comments about including her in the ceremony...
So if you've got ideas for the following, let me know:
1) Job for my 22 year old girl cousin
2) Something besides a pillow for the ring-bearer to carry
3) Something for the second boy to carry
Monday, November 19, 2007
How to "Save the Date" Environmentally
So it seems like everyone sends out Save the Date cards now, but I had never really even learned about this until a few years ago. For those of you who are in the dark like I was, a Save the Date is basically a pre-invitation to a wedding. It tells you when and where the wedding are months in advance, so you can mark your calendars and make travel arrangements. I will spare you a Save the Date rant (tempting as it is) because there are too many other things to talk about.
We decided that we want to be environmentally responsible about all this, so we are sending electronic Save the Dates. Unfortunately, a large number of my relatives have no Internet access even in the year 2007, so there will have to be some exceptions. Don't be offended if you don't get one in the mail; you are saving a tree. We are also currently trying to pick out 100% recycled wedding invitations. Also, don't be offended when yours doesn't come in two envelopes with tissue paper; we care more about trees than etiquette.
As an update to some previous posts, I have finally gotten a hold of all of my groomsmen. Sorry if you were crossing your fingers to fill that last spot. It's nothing personal. I also regret to inform you that I must now put my foot in my mouth. You really can stop reading now because what I am about to say is of no consequence. After all my bragging about my rocking immune system, I got sick on Saturday evening. It was nothing major. I am feeling better now, but my immune system did have a minor hiccup. It won't happen again... knock on wood.
We decided that we want to be environmentally responsible about all this, so we are sending electronic Save the Dates. Unfortunately, a large number of my relatives have no Internet access even in the year 2007, so there will have to be some exceptions. Don't be offended if you don't get one in the mail; you are saving a tree. We are also currently trying to pick out 100% recycled wedding invitations. Also, don't be offended when yours doesn't come in two envelopes with tissue paper; we care more about trees than etiquette.
As an update to some previous posts, I have finally gotten a hold of all of my groomsmen. Sorry if you were crossing your fingers to fill that last spot. It's nothing personal. I also regret to inform you that I must now put my foot in my mouth. You really can stop reading now because what I am about to say is of no consequence. After all my bragging about my rocking immune system, I got sick on Saturday evening. It was nothing major. I am feeling better now, but my immune system did have a minor hiccup. It won't happen again... knock on wood.
Friday, November 16, 2007
How to Build Your Immune System
So you may be thinking from the title of this post that it has nothing to do with weddings or engagement. You're right. My FW has been sick most of the week with a cold, so I have been trying to nurse her back to health. She has been worried that she is going to make me sick, but that is impossible because my immune system rocks. I know many of you have probably been catching whatever bug is going around, so I thought I might share my secret to a rocking immune system (for 5 easy payments of $10.99).
First, I have never bought in to flu shots. I won't go into a rant about it, but I think they are a waste of money. Trust me on this. I have a degree in biochemistry. Incidentally, I love throwing that out whenever a scientific question gets asked. It makes it sound like I really know what I am talking about even though I never took a class in public health or immunology.
Second, I am not into a lot of preventive medicine. I don't take vitamins, herbal supplements, zinc lozenges, or any of that stuff. I am not against these practices. I would probably be a healthier person if I did take all this stuff, but I would rather spend my money on something more worthwhile than my health, like DVDs and vanilla frappuccinos (this is not an endorsement for Starbucks or any other corrupt corporations that rape and pillage developing nations).
My secret is quite simple. I taught public school for three years and have taught at UH for the last year and a half. Teaching is the number one immune system builder on earth. Granted, you will be sick for almost your entire first year (especially if you teach really little kids- they are little germ volcanoes). After you make it through the first year though, you will have been exposed to every major G-rated communicable disease. There are a few side effects I should warn you about. Teaching can cause a loss of hearing, temporary or permanent insanity, and stomach ulcers. Do not try teaching while operating heavy machinery. If you experience shortness of breath due to excessive yelling or hyperventilating, contact a physician immediately.
First, I have never bought in to flu shots. I won't go into a rant about it, but I think they are a waste of money. Trust me on this. I have a degree in biochemistry. Incidentally, I love throwing that out whenever a scientific question gets asked. It makes it sound like I really know what I am talking about even though I never took a class in public health or immunology.
Second, I am not into a lot of preventive medicine. I don't take vitamins, herbal supplements, zinc lozenges, or any of that stuff. I am not against these practices. I would probably be a healthier person if I did take all this stuff, but I would rather spend my money on something more worthwhile than my health, like DVDs and vanilla frappuccinos (this is not an endorsement for Starbucks or any other corrupt corporations that rape and pillage developing nations).
My secret is quite simple. I taught public school for three years and have taught at UH for the last year and a half. Teaching is the number one immune system builder on earth. Granted, you will be sick for almost your entire first year (especially if you teach really little kids- they are little germ volcanoes). After you make it through the first year though, you will have been exposed to every major G-rated communicable disease. There are a few side effects I should warn you about. Teaching can cause a loss of hearing, temporary or permanent insanity, and stomach ulcers. Do not try teaching while operating heavy machinery. If you experience shortness of breath due to excessive yelling or hyperventilating, contact a physician immediately.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
How to Find the Right Groomspeople
So my FW does not like the term bridesmaid. She decided to give each of her "bridesmaids" a unique title, eschewing the traditional terminology. I don't really have a problem with the term groomsmen unless I had a female attendant. I guess groomsperson is more gender neutral. Actually, I like the sound of that - groomsperson. It sounds so personal and friendly, not at all pretentious and sterile. Wow, I almost choked on my own sarcasm.
Okay, so I am really getting off course here. My point today was to talk about how to find the right people to be in your wedding. I am probably not the best person to talk to about this because while my FW asked her bridespeople to be in the wedding before we even got engaged, I have yet to ask one of my groomsmen. Also, I haven't seen my brother in about a month because he is out saving the world (yeah...). This doesn't bode well.
The Knot has some wonderful advice for choosing attendants... if you are a robot. It gives you all these criteria for judging how well someone might fulfill their duties. Are they responsible? Are they punctual? Will they dress appropriately? These are all wonderful things, but isn't the most important question - do you like this person? The other stuff can at least be faked for a day. I think even my brother can handle that.
The fact is that it was really hard for me to choose 5 people. There are really no rules for this. Some people have their parents and even members of the opposite sex standing with them. How long should you have known the person? What kind of relationship do you have now? Does that matter? What if they live far away and can't really attend most of the wedding/planning stuff? Does THAT matter? (I mean how much do they really do anyway?) Then there is the whole usher thing. You can ask other friends to be your ushers, but you don't want them to feel less important than the groomsmen. It's like you are being forced to judge your friends... to their face and in front of 300 people. That's just not cool.
While I am ranting about this subject, who came up with the term "Best Man." Isn't it a little arrogant? I believe Jerry Seinfeld said it best when he said, "If he's the best man, why isn't the bride marrying him? Shouldn't it be the groom and a pretty good man?" I agree. "Best Man" is far too judgmental of a term. Plus, it gives connotations that this person is the epitome of masculinity. I have been a "Best Man" before, so I can assure you that this is not the case. "Best Person" is even worse sounding even though it is gender-neutral. It's like putting a target on someone's back. Those are expectations no one can live up to. I am clearly over-analyzing here, but if you are still reading this blog, you have come to expect that.
So here's to our "Groomspeople" and "Bridespersons" to our "Best Persons" and "People of Honor." We love you all and couldn't do this without you, even you Kevin.
Okay, so I am really getting off course here. My point today was to talk about how to find the right people to be in your wedding. I am probably not the best person to talk to about this because while my FW asked her bridespeople to be in the wedding before we even got engaged, I have yet to ask one of my groomsmen. Also, I haven't seen my brother in about a month because he is out saving the world (yeah...). This doesn't bode well.
The Knot has some wonderful advice for choosing attendants... if you are a robot. It gives you all these criteria for judging how well someone might fulfill their duties. Are they responsible? Are they punctual? Will they dress appropriately? These are all wonderful things, but isn't the most important question - do you like this person? The other stuff can at least be faked for a day. I think even my brother can handle that.
The fact is that it was really hard for me to choose 5 people. There are really no rules for this. Some people have their parents and even members of the opposite sex standing with them. How long should you have known the person? What kind of relationship do you have now? Does that matter? What if they live far away and can't really attend most of the wedding/planning stuff? Does THAT matter? (I mean how much do they really do anyway?) Then there is the whole usher thing. You can ask other friends to be your ushers, but you don't want them to feel less important than the groomsmen. It's like you are being forced to judge your friends... to their face and in front of 300 people. That's just not cool.
While I am ranting about this subject, who came up with the term "Best Man." Isn't it a little arrogant? I believe Jerry Seinfeld said it best when he said, "If he's the best man, why isn't the bride marrying him? Shouldn't it be the groom and a pretty good man?" I agree. "Best Man" is far too judgmental of a term. Plus, it gives connotations that this person is the epitome of masculinity. I have been a "Best Man" before, so I can assure you that this is not the case. "Best Person" is even worse sounding even though it is gender-neutral. It's like putting a target on someone's back. Those are expectations no one can live up to. I am clearly over-analyzing here, but if you are still reading this blog, you have come to expect that.
So here's to our "Groomspeople" and "Bridespersons" to our "Best Persons" and "People of Honor." We love you all and couldn't do this without you, even you Kevin.
Monday, November 12, 2007
How to Become a Marriage Expert
So we had a conversation the other day with some friends of ours about some good books to read about marriage. Unfortunately, we have found very few that we like. As we discussed the other day, most books on marriage seem to be of the Martian men/Venusian women type. I think that those books might be better if they were in fact loaded on a space shuttle to Mars.
One thing about contemporary feminism that I really like is that it questions gender roles that are often seen as inherent and/or (in Christian subcultures) divinely-instituted. I can't count the number of times that I have heard statements that begin like, "The Biblical role of women is...," or "Real men don't...." The problem with these kind of statements is that they are reductive and generalizing and they rarely convey actual truth. I am not saying that the Bible doesn't provide some Biblical roles for women, but I haven't yet found the verse that says or even implies that all women must stay at home with their children rather than work.
Most of these ideas are cultural, but I am not saying that they lack any merit or semblance of truth. Some women like raising children more than working, wonderful. Is that simply because that extra X chromosome gives them a more nurturing personality? I highly doubt it. Neither does a Y chromosome automatically make a man addicted to pornography nor does it cause boys to prefer GIJoe over Barbie.
Anyway, back to my point. It seems like anyone can just write a book about gender, sexuality, and/or marriage now. They can also conduct their own surveys to prove their points. Christian marriage experts will even quote the Bible out of context to back their points. One of the most popular Christian writers right now repeatedly uses illustrations from about five different popular movies to prove that all men are basically wilderness-lovers deep down. If that isn't substantial proof that all men like the outdoors, I don't know what is, and what if women like the outdoors? Does that make them less feminine? I think now I am going to write a book about marriage. I have no experience with it and have done research by reading a couple of books and watching some romantic comedies. I also have talked to some of my married friends, and I have even read Song of Solomon. Surely this makes me as qualified as most marriage experts right?
Disclaimer: I am not a marriage expert. The only thing I am an expert on is putting my foot in my mouth, which will probably be occurring shortly after writing today's blog.
One thing about contemporary feminism that I really like is that it questions gender roles that are often seen as inherent and/or (in Christian subcultures) divinely-instituted. I can't count the number of times that I have heard statements that begin like, "The Biblical role of women is...," or "Real men don't...." The problem with these kind of statements is that they are reductive and generalizing and they rarely convey actual truth. I am not saying that the Bible doesn't provide some Biblical roles for women, but I haven't yet found the verse that says or even implies that all women must stay at home with their children rather than work.
Most of these ideas are cultural, but I am not saying that they lack any merit or semblance of truth. Some women like raising children more than working, wonderful. Is that simply because that extra X chromosome gives them a more nurturing personality? I highly doubt it. Neither does a Y chromosome automatically make a man addicted to pornography nor does it cause boys to prefer GIJoe over Barbie.
Anyway, back to my point. It seems like anyone can just write a book about gender, sexuality, and/or marriage now. They can also conduct their own surveys to prove their points. Christian marriage experts will even quote the Bible out of context to back their points. One of the most popular Christian writers right now repeatedly uses illustrations from about five different popular movies to prove that all men are basically wilderness-lovers deep down. If that isn't substantial proof that all men like the outdoors, I don't know what is, and what if women like the outdoors? Does that make them less feminine? I think now I am going to write a book about marriage. I have no experience with it and have done research by reading a couple of books and watching some romantic comedies. I also have talked to some of my married friends, and I have even read Song of Solomon. Surely this makes me as qualified as most marriage experts right?
Disclaimer: I am not a marriage expert. The only thing I am an expert on is putting my foot in my mouth, which will probably be occurring shortly after writing today's blog.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
How to Homecome
So Homecoming is this really big deal in Texas. I remember in high school, girls would wear these outrageous mums (giant flowers) with yards of ribbon streaming from them along with assorted glittery accessories. This is further proof that Texas is like a foreign country. Anyway, when I got to college I realized that Homecoming is not just for high schoolers. Apparently Baylor thinks that Homecoming celebrations are worth spending an ungodly amount of money on too.
Well, I bought into the hype. I have been to every Baylor Homecoming since my freshman year, even if just for the football game (which is always atrocious). This year I got to bring my FW along for her first taste of the hoopla. Here is a brief list (with commentary) of all the major Baylor Homecoming events:
1.) Homecoming Extravaganza - a mini-carnival with reunion tents and a ferris wheel (yes, a ferris wheel)
2.) Bonfire - a Pep Rally minus the pep and plus the giant bonfire (this year's featured burning Texas Tech T's which really looked like burning crosses - classy)
3.) the most ginormous Homecoming parade on earth - This is a fact. Baylor's Greeks build elaborate floats to compete for cool prizes. (The average cost of this float is probably more than a year's tuition at Baylor and the prize is that about 20 people get really excited for a few minutes.)
4.) Last but not least, and I must credit my best friend for identifying this time honored Baylor tradition - losing - Homecoming culminates in an embarrassing football game where the alumni remember why they never went to the games as students
Well, my FW got to experience all the glory of Baylor. She was highly amused by most of it. Her favorite part was the Baylor Bookstore (which more closely resembles a department store now) where we witnessed a piano concerto (really it was just praise and worship music by a piano major) in the middle of the clothing section. We found it very entertaining in an unintentional comedic sort of way. It almost rivals the operatic singing of the Lord's Prayer at my last Homecoming Pep Rally.
I guess I could sum this all up by making some poignant statement about the course my life has taken and how my engagement puts a new perspective on everything, but that just wouldn't be my style. I really just couldn't think of anything to write about, and Baylor is an easy target.
Well, I bought into the hype. I have been to every Baylor Homecoming since my freshman year, even if just for the football game (which is always atrocious). This year I got to bring my FW along for her first taste of the hoopla. Here is a brief list (with commentary) of all the major Baylor Homecoming events:
1.) Homecoming Extravaganza - a mini-carnival with reunion tents and a ferris wheel (yes, a ferris wheel)
2.) Bonfire - a Pep Rally minus the pep and plus the giant bonfire (this year's featured burning Texas Tech T's which really looked like burning crosses - classy)
3.) the most ginormous Homecoming parade on earth - This is a fact. Baylor's Greeks build elaborate floats to compete for cool prizes. (The average cost of this float is probably more than a year's tuition at Baylor and the prize is that about 20 people get really excited for a few minutes.)
4.) Last but not least, and I must credit my best friend for identifying this time honored Baylor tradition - losing - Homecoming culminates in an embarrassing football game where the alumni remember why they never went to the games as students
Well, my FW got to experience all the glory of Baylor. She was highly amused by most of it. Her favorite part was the Baylor Bookstore (which more closely resembles a department store now) where we witnessed a piano concerto (really it was just praise and worship music by a piano major) in the middle of the clothing section. We found it very entertaining in an unintentional comedic sort of way. It almost rivals the operatic singing of the Lord's Prayer at my last Homecoming Pep Rally.
I guess I could sum this all up by making some poignant statement about the course my life has taken and how my engagement puts a new perspective on everything, but that just wouldn't be my style. I really just couldn't think of anything to write about, and Baylor is an easy target.
Monday, November 5, 2007
How to Become a Feminist
So this past weekend, my FW and I traveled to Waco for my college homecoming. She got to meet some of my college friends (something to talk about in a later post), and she got to see a glimpse of a major part of my life. While we were there, one of my friends mentioned that I haven't yet talked about how my FW became a feminist. Well, that is a story she will have to tell you. However, since I have dedicated so much time to discussing how to become the boyfriend or fiance of a feminist, I figured I should talk about ways you too can become a real-life, honest-to-goodness feminist.
First, there are a variety of feminist training courses that are good places to begin. Among the most popular are: We Got the Vote - So NOW What?, Bra Burning for Beginners, Feminist Manifesto Writing, and Protesting Patriarchy.
Second, you must adopt feminist fashions. You can start by growing out your arm pit hair and cutting your hair short/shaving your head. I also advise buying some killer pantsuits, NOT pink.
Third, register with the national feminist database.
Fourth, attend a NOW meeting.
Fifth, convert at least one man into a house husband. Alternately, you can verbally assault five men that open doors for you, or you can go on a cooking and cleaning strike for forty days.
Sixth, vote for Hillary Clinton.
After these six steps, you will officially be a feminist stereotype. If you want to be a real feminist, you just have to believe that people are equal regardless of gender and should be treated as such. Really, that's all. You can still be a housewife, a secretary, or a waitress. Even men can join in on the fun.
Oh yeah, my FW would be upset if I didn't make this disclaimer. You do NOT have to vote for Hillary. Also, in case this isn't totally obvious, the opinions of this blogger are in no way indicative of actual feminist ideologies.
First, there are a variety of feminist training courses that are good places to begin. Among the most popular are: We Got the Vote - So NOW What?, Bra Burning for Beginners, Feminist Manifesto Writing, and Protesting Patriarchy.
Second, you must adopt feminist fashions. You can start by growing out your arm pit hair and cutting your hair short/shaving your head. I also advise buying some killer pantsuits, NOT pink.
Third, register with the national feminist database.
Fourth, attend a NOW meeting.
Fifth, convert at least one man into a house husband. Alternately, you can verbally assault five men that open doors for you, or you can go on a cooking and cleaning strike for forty days.
Sixth, vote for Hillary Clinton.
After these six steps, you will officially be a feminist stereotype. If you want to be a real feminist, you just have to believe that people are equal regardless of gender and should be treated as such. Really, that's all. You can still be a housewife, a secretary, or a waitress. Even men can join in on the fun.
Oh yeah, my FW would be upset if I didn't make this disclaimer. You do NOT have to vote for Hillary. Also, in case this isn't totally obvious, the opinions of this blogger are in no way indicative of actual feminist ideologies.
Friday, November 2, 2007
How to Let People Know You Are Engaged
So when a couple gets engaged, the woman gets a ring. It is an automatic symbol of her commitment. It says, "I am getting married." The man doesn't get anything like that, but I want people to know that I am engaged too. How do I go about that?
Here are a few ideas that I have had:
1.) A man-gagement ring - A man-gagement ring is like the male equivalent of an engagement ring. There is a problem though. If a man is seen wearing a ring on his left hand, people will assume he is married rather than engaged. If he wears a ring elsewhere, no one will care. Here is my solution. The ring can be worn on the right ring finger, but it has to stand out so people will ask what it is. To do that, it has to be even bigger and bolder than a male class ring, which we all know is quite a feat. I am thinking it would have to be something that would make Jay-Z cry.
2.) An engagement shirt - The man could wear a t-shirt everyday that says, "Sorry ladies, I'm taken." This sends the really important message in a polite and apologetic way. There are two problems. One, it is just too blunt. Some women might see this and start crying because they realize they have no chance. Guys see an engagement ring and still think they have a chance (yeah right). The other problem is that you would need several shirts or just do laundry everyday. Also, what if you have to dress professionally - an engagement tie?
3.) An engagement tattoo - This could be done in several ways, a tattooed ring around the left ring finger in classic barb wire style, a heart with initials on the left bicep, or a stamp that says, "Property of _________." All of these are creative and elegant options, but tattoos are so common, that if you are already tatted-up, what are you supposed to do?
These are all the ideas I have so far, but I would really like to know what ideas you guys might have.
Here are a few ideas that I have had:
1.) A man-gagement ring - A man-gagement ring is like the male equivalent of an engagement ring. There is a problem though. If a man is seen wearing a ring on his left hand, people will assume he is married rather than engaged. If he wears a ring elsewhere, no one will care. Here is my solution. The ring can be worn on the right ring finger, but it has to stand out so people will ask what it is. To do that, it has to be even bigger and bolder than a male class ring, which we all know is quite a feat. I am thinking it would have to be something that would make Jay-Z cry.
2.) An engagement shirt - The man could wear a t-shirt everyday that says, "Sorry ladies, I'm taken." This sends the really important message in a polite and apologetic way. There are two problems. One, it is just too blunt. Some women might see this and start crying because they realize they have no chance. Guys see an engagement ring and still think they have a chance (yeah right). The other problem is that you would need several shirts or just do laundry everyday. Also, what if you have to dress professionally - an engagement tie?
3.) An engagement tattoo - This could be done in several ways, a tattooed ring around the left ring finger in classic barb wire style, a heart with initials on the left bicep, or a stamp that says, "Property of _________." All of these are creative and elegant options, but tattoos are so common, that if you are already tatted-up, what are you supposed to do?
These are all the ideas I have so far, but I would really like to know what ideas you guys might have.
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