Wednesday, April 16, 2008

How to Choose a Last Name (Part... I Lost Count)

So we are both still going to hyphenate our names, nothing different on that front... However, I have been learning just how inconvenient name changes really are. I realized that if I change my last name, I will have to notify my bank, insurance, credit cards, the DOT, and lots of other institutions. Women have been doing this for years without complaint, but since men are pretty new to the legal name change thing, I feel entitled to complain about it a little.

As troubling as patriarchy can be for women, it can also be annoying for men. For example, some states do not allow a man to change his name legally without going through the courts and paying outrageous legal fees. Furthermore, our culture is so incapable of wrapping its mind around the concept that men may want to change their names, that these institutions often have no idea how to deal with these changes when they happen (here's a hint: do whatever you do when women change their name). Hyphenated names are even more inconvenient. I don't remember there being a hyphen bubble to fill in on the last name slot on the SAT. If I were a conspiracy theorist... if I were MORE of a conspiracy theorist, I might think that this system is designed to prevent men from changing their names and to discourage hyphenating altogether. Unfortunately for them, I am just contrary enough for this to be an encouragement. Besides, I think the inability to deal with male name changes is more a result of sexist assumptions and incompetency than it is a mass conspiracy.

See, sexism can be inconvenient for men too. I leave you with some related questions I commonly mull over for no apparent reason:
1. Could I ever get paternity leave?
2. Will househusband ever be a respected role in our society?
3. My parents one time told me I was Venutian (part of a ridiculously cruel joke), but aren't men from Mars?
4. Is it possible for Christian speakers to talk about marriage without telling the same sexist jokes Cotton Mather probably told his congregation? Incidentally, the most recent offender is this knee-slapper: "When a woman says she has nothing to wear, she means she has nothing new to wear. When a man says he has nothing to wear, he means he has nothing clean to wear." Wasn't that hilarious? I mean seriously, he really got me there. I have never heard that one before.
5. Finally, is a man allowed to go to a "chick-flick" without a date?

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