So when I was shopping for my FW's engagement ring, I really wanted to find a conflict-free diamond. As important as our marriage is, I didn't want to fund any wars or genocides with my purchase. Fortunately, conflict-free diamonds have become "cool" now (I love that being socially and environmentally conscious is now popular. It makes me feel a little cooler and much more of a conformist than I would like to admit). Anyway, there are many jewelers that now offer quality conflict-free diamonds at very affordable prices.
Well, it is time for us to purchase wedding bands. Neither of us want anything fancy, and I was always under the impression that most wedding bands were pretty simple, that the only major choice was what kind of metal to get. I was very wrong about this. There are some pretty ornate designs for both men and women. Many of them also contain a variety of stones. Probably the most interesting type we have come across are wooden rings although Lord of the Ring replica rings are a close second (I wonder if you can get it engraved... One ring to rule them all...). I think it is great that there is truly something out there for everyone. The Internet really has just about anything you can imagine, and it connects us in such interesting ways.
Anyway, I am getting my FW's ring from a site called Brilliant Earth. They sell conflict-free jewelry, and most of it is made out of recycled metals as well (because green and peaceful makes it twice as cool). We have decided to engrave each others' rings, so now the only question is what I should put on hers. I have a pretty good idea what it will be, but I haven't had a new poll on here in a while, so I figured I would see which option you guys like best.
Here are the options:
A) One ring to rule them all.
B) I <3 U 4EVR
C) Property of (insert FW's name here)
D) You complete me.
(Disclaimer: None of these are really options I am considering in case you were concerned.)
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
How to Be Quotable
After reading this post on men taking their wife's name, the following conversation occurred:
FH: I think hyphenating our name is going to be a big pain.
FW: So is patriarchy.
FH: You're right, patriarchy is a much bigger pain!
If I were an illustrator, I'd make that into a comic strip...
FH: I think hyphenating our name is going to be a big pain.
FW: So is patriarchy.
FH: You're right, patriarchy is a much bigger pain!
If I were an illustrator, I'd make that into a comic strip...
How to Choose a Last Name (Part... I Lost Count)
So we are both still going to hyphenate our names, nothing different on that front... However, I have been learning just how inconvenient name changes really are. I realized that if I change my last name, I will have to notify my bank, insurance, credit cards, the DOT, and lots of other institutions. Women have been doing this for years without complaint, but since men are pretty new to the legal name change thing, I feel entitled to complain about it a little.
As troubling as patriarchy can be for women, it can also be annoying for men. For example, some states do not allow a man to change his name legally without going through the courts and paying outrageous legal fees. Furthermore, our culture is so incapable of wrapping its mind around the concept that men may want to change their names, that these institutions often have no idea how to deal with these changes when they happen (here's a hint: do whatever you do when women change their name). Hyphenated names are even more inconvenient. I don't remember there being a hyphen bubble to fill in on the last name slot on the SAT. If I were a conspiracy theorist... if I were MORE of a conspiracy theorist, I might think that this system is designed to prevent men from changing their names and to discourage hyphenating altogether. Unfortunately for them, I am just contrary enough for this to be an encouragement. Besides, I think the inability to deal with male name changes is more a result of sexist assumptions and incompetency than it is a mass conspiracy.
See, sexism can be inconvenient for men too. I leave you with some related questions I commonly mull over for no apparent reason:
1. Could I ever get paternity leave?
2. Will househusband ever be a respected role in our society?
3. My parents one time told me I was Venutian (part of a ridiculously cruel joke), but aren't men from Mars?
4. Is it possible for Christian speakers to talk about marriage without telling the same sexist jokes Cotton Mather probably told his congregation? Incidentally, the most recent offender is this knee-slapper: "When a woman says she has nothing to wear, she means she has nothing new to wear. When a man says he has nothing to wear, he means he has nothing clean to wear." Wasn't that hilarious? I mean seriously, he really got me there. I have never heard that one before.
5. Finally, is a man allowed to go to a "chick-flick" without a date?
As troubling as patriarchy can be for women, it can also be annoying for men. For example, some states do not allow a man to change his name legally without going through the courts and paying outrageous legal fees. Furthermore, our culture is so incapable of wrapping its mind around the concept that men may want to change their names, that these institutions often have no idea how to deal with these changes when they happen (here's a hint: do whatever you do when women change their name). Hyphenated names are even more inconvenient. I don't remember there being a hyphen bubble to fill in on the last name slot on the SAT. If I were a conspiracy theorist... if I were MORE of a conspiracy theorist, I might think that this system is designed to prevent men from changing their names and to discourage hyphenating altogether. Unfortunately for them, I am just contrary enough for this to be an encouragement. Besides, I think the inability to deal with male name changes is more a result of sexist assumptions and incompetency than it is a mass conspiracy.
See, sexism can be inconvenient for men too. I leave you with some related questions I commonly mull over for no apparent reason:
1. Could I ever get paternity leave?
2. Will househusband ever be a respected role in our society?
3. My parents one time told me I was Venutian (part of a ridiculously cruel joke), but aren't men from Mars?
4. Is it possible for Christian speakers to talk about marriage without telling the same sexist jokes Cotton Mather probably told his congregation? Incidentally, the most recent offender is this knee-slapper: "When a woman says she has nothing to wear, she means she has nothing new to wear. When a man says he has nothing to wear, he means he has nothing clean to wear." Wasn't that hilarious? I mean seriously, he really got me there. I have never heard that one before.
5. Finally, is a man allowed to go to a "chick-flick" without a date?
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
How to Empower Women and Save the Earth
So we knew we wanted to use recycled paper for wedding invitations, but I had no idea we'd find something this cool. Thanks to a tip from the Offbeat Bride Tribe, I found WomanCraft.
"WomanCraft, Inc., the social enterprise of Deborah's Place, provides a supportive, authentic workplace where women can
* Earn income
* Engage in meaningful work
* Improve job skills
* Build a work history
Women who are current and former participants and tenants of Deborah's Place are employed as artisans, making handmade, recycled paper and unique jewelry items. Our social mission is achieved by operating a business; all proceeds help women work to create new beginnings." (www.womancraft.net)
It's pretty much the coolest thing ever. The paper is beautiful, and they work with any budget. My FH and I feel blessed to work with them.
BTW, my sister said they other day she felt ashamed for not having recycled wedding invitations. We're not about making people feel ashamed, we're about questioning the system and making changes in our lives where we personally feel we should. For us, the wedding was an important reflection of how we want to live our lives and participate in God's redemptive works. This is about our journey, and the questions. Thanks as always for reading!
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