Monday, January 28, 2008

How To Choose a Last Name, Part Two


What's in a name?

Well, a whole lot.

One thing we have learned in the process of trying to choose a last name is that it is a very personal decision. People feel very strongly about it. So before I begin let me say that we respect everyone's last name decisions. It's a conscientious and deeply personal thing, we get that.

So we thought we had it figured out... my FH would take my last name as his second middle name and I would move my last name to my second middle name, and use it whenever convenient. Subconsciously I wasn't comfortable with that, as I started to say we were both taking two last names. My FH questioned me about it, and said he was glad, because making my original surname our middle name didn't seem "egalitarian enough". (Could he be cooler?)

We've narrowed it down to two options, with plenty of pros and cons and feelings for both, so tell us what you think:

1) We both have two last names... My last name [space] his last name. The order is simply because it sounds better.

2) We both have a hyphenated last name... My last name-his last name.

We think they will both probably confuse people, so we're just trying to decide what's best for us.

And another short rant about the name change process... it's really sexist. Some friends of ours couldn't change his name when they got married b/c it was free for the bride but cost like $500 for the groom. Thankfully, it's now free in Texas for both partners to change their name. However, exactly no wedding websites assume the groom will change his name, as all information is directed to the bride. It's ridiculous!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm proud of you both for making such a marked and stark decision, even in the face of those close to you who do not understand. Just know that I support you in all that you're doing to show that names & words have more meaning than we tend to give them. I love you both very much.

LKH said...

Thanks apn! We love you too!!

Crystal said...

I think its awesome you guys are still discussing this! Lots of love to you guys!

Unknown said...

You might be interested to know that I am working professionally to help those choosing a last name. See www.NameCounsel.us.

Best of luck!