How to Slay Dragons

(By the FW)

Sometimes I forget that we're unconventional. It doesn't always feel like we're that different, but I guess we really are.

I picked up a book yesterday that is supposed to help you discover godly womanhood and discussed it with my G2B. I really liked a lot about the book, but so much of it was essentialist that it was hard for me to get past. Women want a man to speak for her, women want to be rescued (insert examples from movies here), little girls twirl in skirts waiting for their prince to come, etc. I'm pulling these things out of context, but the meaning is basically the same in the book. It's all meant to be honoring and empowering, but it's falling short for me.

Why would I want a man to speak for me? Support me, sure, but I want my own voice.

The author (a former feminist... how does that work?), recalls playing her favorite game of being rescued by a little boy masquerading as some alpha-male figure (knight, prince, etc.). I don't recall ever playing a game where I willingly played the damsel in distress. I was always the warrior princess.

I went through a phase as a little girl when I refused to wear anything but skirts (which was a problem given that I grew up in sub-zero Wyoming), and I did think about getting married and having a family. But I felt beautiful with or without a prince.

I'm so tired of being told I need rescue. Christ rescued me from death, that's all I need. I'm tired of my femininity being called into question because I've made non-traditional choices. I'm tired of struggling to embrace myself fully because I'm either too conservative or too liberal in my beliefs about gender according to someone else's (not God's) standards.

When we were dating, my FH and I had a conversation about mutuality and admitted to each other we didn't really know what it would look like in a relationship. So we've worked at it, and most importantly we've been who we are. My fiance is the strongest man I know. We embrace our gender differences and I honor his masculinity based on who God has made him, not books on being a man or the sexist assumptions our society carries. He honors my femininity the same way.

The point is we want to slay dragons together. God fights for us, anyway, protecting us with the Holy Spirit and lots of angels. But we're one, the two of us, and every battle is ours to fight together.