How a Dog Complicates Things

So I am dogsitting for a friend this weekend, and dogs are really on my mind right now. I have a female black lab who is a year and a half old. She is really sweet but also half-insane, and even though she loves my FW, she can get pretty jealous.

Before I even tell you about how my dog has fit into this relationship, I should give you a few facts about her. She weighs 65 pounds but still thinks she is a lap dog. She is afraid of vacuum cleaners, brooms, ironing boards, and leaves. She knows she isn't supposed to jump on people, but that has never stopped her (at best she hops in a circle around the person). She eats everything she finds on the ground that fits in her mouth, including cigarette butts and rotten banana peels. A few weeks ago, I was laying on the couch and called her. She hurdled the coffee table and landed on top of me (yeah because that's what I wanted her to do). I could go on, but I assume you get the point.

Needless to say, my dog has caused a little tension in our relationship. On our second date, when my FW met the dog, it almost ripped her dress, and she kept interrupting our first DTR (defining the relationship - those talks everyone loves). When we watch movies together on the couch she finds a way to obstruct my FW's vision without fail. Actually, the first time we ever sat on the couch together, she tried to sit in between us (even thought she is not allowed on the couch). She also loves to wrap us in her leash (which sort of defeats the purpose if she is trying to get between us).

All of this is meant to preface this one statement. Don't expect us to have kids anytime soon.