How to be a "Mack-ademic"

So I can't take credit for the term "mack-ademic." Our friend Carrie coined it in reference to my FW and I. I can, however, explain the term and how it applies to us.

Both my FW and I are currently engrossed in the world of academia. My FW is working on her PhD dissertation, and I am finishing up my MA. It is likely that both of us will spend most of our careers in academia, and we may end up teaching at the same university at some point. Right now, we are colleagues, and although my FW is in a different department, her work in Women's Studies often overlaps with the English department because the director of the program is part of our department as well as are many other literature professors.

All this means that we often see each other at work/school (or make a point to see each other), and since we are both employed by the university, I suppose there are certain rules of decorum we should follow. For example, making out in the quad would not be a good idea, but going to lunch together isn't going to raise any eyebrows. This is probably no different from most workplace relationships, but academia is a strange world with its own "mack-ademic" wrinkles. The last name thing is definitely a part of this. It is quite common for married female professors to simply retain their last names (at least professionally). It is also common for academics (particularly feminists) to refer to their spouses as partners. Obviously, this term has some different implications in popular culture, but in "mack-ademia" it doesn't imply anything gender-specific, which is part of the reason it is used. (For the record, I don't think I will ever refer to my FW as my partner (or FP)).

This semester, I have two professors who happen to be married to each other. They each have different last names, so this is not readily apparent. They don't try to keep it hidden, but they don't advertise it either. It was fun the day the husband guest lectured in his wife's class though. I kept looking for signs of a deeper relationship, but they were nothing but professional. My FW has come to my classes to discuss the Women's studies program. I would like to think that we too behaved professionally, but one of my students later claimed that she could see through us.

Being a "mack-ademic" is not that hard. It just requires some restraint (more restraint than the undergrad couple in the elevator the other day that were all over each other and accidentally hit every button because of it). There is one downside to this though. Some of the most attractive things about my FW are her intelligence and her compassion. When she is at work, these two qualities are really displayed, so it can be particularly hard for me to maintain some sort of professional detachment.