How to Become a Marriage Expert

So we had a conversation the other day with some friends of ours about some good books to read about marriage. Unfortunately, we have found very few that we like. As we discussed the other day, most books on marriage seem to be of the Martian men/Venusian women type. I think that those books might be better if they were in fact loaded on a space shuttle to Mars.

One thing about contemporary feminism that I really like is that it questions gender roles that are often seen as inherent and/or (in Christian subcultures) divinely-instituted. I can't count the number of times that I have heard statements that begin like, "The Biblical role of women is...," or "Real men don't...." The problem with these kind of statements is that they are reductive and generalizing and they rarely convey actual truth. I am not saying that the Bible doesn't provide some Biblical roles for women, but I haven't yet found the verse that says or even implies that all women must stay at home with their children rather than work.

Most of these ideas are cultural, but I am not saying that they lack any merit or semblance of truth. Some women like raising children more than working, wonderful. Is that simply because that extra X chromosome gives them a more nurturing personality? I highly doubt it. Neither does a Y chromosome automatically make a man addicted to pornography nor does it cause boys to prefer GIJoe over Barbie.

Anyway, back to my point. It seems like anyone can just write a book about gender, sexuality, and/or marriage now. They can also conduct their own surveys to prove their points. Christian marriage experts will even quote the Bible out of context to back their points. One of the most popular Christian writers right now repeatedly uses illustrations from about five different popular movies to prove that all men are basically wilderness-lovers deep down. If that isn't substantial proof that all men like the outdoors, I don't know what is, and what if women like the outdoors? Does that make them less feminine? I think now I am going to write a book about marriage. I have no experience with it and have done research by reading a couple of books and watching some romantic comedies. I also have talked to some of my married friends, and I have even read Song of Solomon. Surely this makes me as qualified as most marriage experts right?

Disclaimer: I am not a marriage expert. The only thing I am an expert on is putting my foot in my mouth, which will probably be occurring shortly after writing today's blog.