So you may be thinking from the title of this post that it has nothing to do with weddings or engagement. You're right. My FW has been sick most of the week with a cold, so I have been trying to nurse her back to health. She has been worried that she is going to make me sick, but that is impossible because my immune system rocks. I know many of you have probably been catching whatever bug is going around, so I thought I might share my secret to a rocking immune system (for 5 easy payments of $10.99).
First, I have never bought in to flu shots. I won't go into a rant about it, but I think they are a waste of money. Trust me on this. I have a degree in biochemistry. Incidentally, I love throwing that out whenever a scientific question gets asked. It makes it sound like I really know what I am talking about even though I never took a class in public health or immunology.
Second, I am not into a lot of preventive medicine. I don't take vitamins, herbal supplements, zinc lozenges, or any of that stuff. I am not against these practices. I would probably be a healthier person if I did take all this stuff, but I would rather spend my money on something more worthwhile than my health, like DVDs and vanilla frappuccinos (this is not an endorsement for Starbucks or any other corrupt corporations that rape and pillage developing nations).
My secret is quite simple. I taught public school for three years and have taught at UH for the last year and a half. Teaching is the number one immune system builder on earth. Granted, you will be sick for almost your entire first year (especially if you teach really little kids- they are little germ volcanoes). After you make it through the first year though, you will have been exposed to every major G-rated communicable disease. There are a few side effects I should warn you about. Teaching can cause a loss of hearing, temporary or permanent insanity, and stomach ulcers. Do not try teaching while operating heavy machinery. If you experience shortness of breath due to excessive yelling or hyperventilating, contact a physician immediately.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
Another strategy...have a kid. Not that I'm necessarily requesting having a kid for that reason, but surely the illnesses we're enduring this first year will help build our immunity. We call Cameron our little vector.
I can imagine. When I was teaching high school, my students would leave used tissues on their desks and the floor, but that still isn't nearly as gross as diaper changing.
S&J - I've heard that some parents drag their kids around to the nearest sick child they know, just so THEIR kids can get sick & build up their immunities.
FH - Diapers are always gross, but try cleaning a public bathroom at a gas station. I did it for 2 consecutive summers & it's not a job I recommend for those folks with queasy stomachs.
APN - I learned something new about you... aww, after all this time :)
Post a Comment