How to Love People More than Ideas

So even though most of my posts consist of strings of bad jokes and rants about gender stereotypes, I decided to take a different direction today. This post is going to be a lot more serious than normal and probably a lot longer, but I think it is important here to say what is on my heart. We will return to your regularly scheduled programming later.

I am not going to pretend like my relationship with God is particularly close or that I have all the answers. Quite honestly, my relationship with God is mostly me walking blindly through life with occasional moments of clarity and peace interspersed in plenty of frustration and anger and hurt. I have plenty of issues with Christianity in case that wasn't totally obvious from everything I have been saying on this blog. However, God has been speaking to me this week, and when God speaks, it is pretty hard to miss-- mostly because He repeats things a lot just to make sure I got the point.

Last week, I watched this brilliant movie, Children of Men. One of the major themes is what happens in a world where people lose all hope, where they are completely disconnected from each other and can only cling to ideas. It isn't pretty. The movie made me think a lot about how often I put ideas above people. As I was thinking about all this, the people in my life really came through for me in amazing ways. I have felt so loved this last week. Thank you all for that. My FW and I were talking about all this on our date night this week, and it was interesting to see that we were both in similar places on this issue (as we usually are because we were made for each other). When we went to see our premarital counselor on Tuesday, he really confirmed all of this. He constantly emphasizes that love is the most important part of life, more important than beliefs and ideologies. Jesus was about love. The people he criticized were the ones who thought they had life figured out. This morning a final confirmation of this message came when I realized that a friend had been hurt by all the ideologies that I and others throw around so freely without taking the time to make sure people are loved.

As I think about it, I realize that many people have probably been hurt by my beliefs. I try not to be offensive with what I believe, but some of it comes across very strongly. I just want to clarify that the things I believe in are all about loving and valuing people for who they are. That is what Christianity is about. That is what feminism is about. That is why I sometimes get so strident about these issues. The real issue that I sometimes lose sight of is that people are more important than ideologies. Fortunately, I have God and wonderful people in my life that can keep reminding me of this.

With all that being said, I want to say that I am really sorry if what I say on this blog or in real life makes people feel attacked or defensive or hurt. That's not what this is about. I sometimes attack ideas without thinking about how it might hurt people who value those ideas. So even if you think my ideas about last names are stupid, I still love you, and you are still invited to the wedding, and I still want you in my life. I value you and your opinions (even if I disagree with them).